Chest Pain Reality Check
On Monday I woke up and felt a tight pain in my chest. It was located "inside" the chest and covered the whole chest from the ribcage up to just below the shoulders. My thoughts, "Okay, I've never felt this before. What is it?" and "I'm I having a heart attack?
The thought of going to the hospital and getting checked out was repulsive. So I went about my morning routines and off to work. Throughout the day the pain worsened. I had a hard time bending down. Hard time breathing in deep breaths but not enough to feel the suffocating feeling. But the pressure was getting worse.
So I did what every computer literate person would do - went on the Internet to self diagnose. Didn't seem like a heart problem. No shoulder, jaw or arm pain. But still. It was getting worse.
So at lunch I scootered home and tried to be comfortable. I called Li-Wen and told her what was going on - just in case. Of course, I told her I loved her. She was concerned but I played it down. Otherwise I would have been lovingly hounded to go to the hospital - an option I am very opposed to.
I worked the rest of the day including science club and came home. Did some more internet research and decided it wasn't the heart but something still really strange. I went to bed early.
As I was laying there I thought about what if. What if it's really something major and I don't wake up. What if it really is my turn (funny, Tuesday's science class was about life cycles)?
I felt fear and panic. The fear subsided. Then I felt okay about it - almost warm. Okay, my turn. I didn't feel happy about it. I have lots of things to do, people to see and places to go. But I didn't feel regrets about my life. If it was my turn now then that's how it is.
I could have done more I thought. I could have done more to slow the damage to the Earth that people cause, finish writing that movie and book - stuff like that. But really no painful regrets. I've done a lot of really great things. My life hasn't been boring. So okay.
I also thought well if it isn't my turn now then it will be soon. I'm 51 years old and certainly living the last half or quarter of my life cycle.
It's Thursday morning and I'm fine. All the pain is gone and I feel great. However the thoughts and feelings of the little peek at death are fresh in my mind. How about the future?
I think I'll keep living like I've been.
Maybe I'll work on that book and movie a little more, and look for ways to be more environmentally active. (I also will get a complete physical just to see what was going on.)
Well, time for work. Thirty six little lives in the first stages of their life cycles waiting for me. That's a happy thought!
love, teacher gerald
The thought of going to the hospital and getting checked out was repulsive. So I went about my morning routines and off to work. Throughout the day the pain worsened. I had a hard time bending down. Hard time breathing in deep breaths but not enough to feel the suffocating feeling. But the pressure was getting worse.
So I did what every computer literate person would do - went on the Internet to self diagnose. Didn't seem like a heart problem. No shoulder, jaw or arm pain. But still. It was getting worse.
So at lunch I scootered home and tried to be comfortable. I called Li-Wen and told her what was going on - just in case. Of course, I told her I loved her. She was concerned but I played it down. Otherwise I would have been lovingly hounded to go to the hospital - an option I am very opposed to.
I worked the rest of the day including science club and came home. Did some more internet research and decided it wasn't the heart but something still really strange. I went to bed early.
As I was laying there I thought about what if. What if it's really something major and I don't wake up. What if it really is my turn (funny, Tuesday's science class was about life cycles)?
I felt fear and panic. The fear subsided. Then I felt okay about it - almost warm. Okay, my turn. I didn't feel happy about it. I have lots of things to do, people to see and places to go. But I didn't feel regrets about my life. If it was my turn now then that's how it is.
I could have done more I thought. I could have done more to slow the damage to the Earth that people cause, finish writing that movie and book - stuff like that. But really no painful regrets. I've done a lot of really great things. My life hasn't been boring. So okay.
I also thought well if it isn't my turn now then it will be soon. I'm 51 years old and certainly living the last half or quarter of my life cycle.
It's Thursday morning and I'm fine. All the pain is gone and I feel great. However the thoughts and feelings of the little peek at death are fresh in my mind. How about the future?
I think I'll keep living like I've been.
Maybe I'll work on that book and movie a little more, and look for ways to be more environmentally active. (I also will get a complete physical just to see what was going on.)
Well, time for work. Thirty six little lives in the first stages of their life cycles waiting for me. That's a happy thought!
love, teacher gerald
posted by Teacher Gerald at 6:43 AM
7 Comments:
For God's sake GO TO THE DOCTOR !! Go to a large hospital and describe your symptoms to a heart doctor.
i am with you on the anti dr thing...
heartburn?
anyhoo: it was interesting reading your thoughts on dying and really sort of possibly facing it.
my dad has always said (when like my brother an i were ragging on someone) "hey everyone is just trying to get from a to b..." and he had a minor heart attack two years back (which BTW he had and did not know he had until a week later...just for thoughts) and he was in the hospital with this pain and he lied there thinking" so this is b?"
you know ultimately if you live life without regrets, it is always an ok time to die...like kiefer sutherlands movie flatliners "todays a good day to die..."
anyway i of course think you rule and hope to see you again (maybe in New enlgand ;))
Obviously you were having a heart attack. Just because you survived this one doesn't mean you'll survive the next.
Thinking such nice romantic thoughts about death is usually behavior associated with adolescents, who don't really believe in their own mortality. By age 51, you should know better.
What's wrong with going to the doctor to be checked out? Why are you so opposed to doctors? Self-medicating is OK up to a point, but at some point -- such as when you feel chest pains -- you should seek professional help ASAP.
Time is of the essence in such situations. Five minutes can make a huge difference in whether you survive and, if you do, what quality of life you enjoy afterwards.
I don't at all believe that "it is always an OK time to die." I love life and I want to keep living as long as possible. Tomorrow may be a good time to die, but I'm having too much fun to want to die today. And that's how I feel every day.
Moreover, you should think of a worse possibility than dieing. You could suffer a heart attack and be permanently incapacitated. Then you would have no choice but to go to a hospital. In fact you'd live the rest of your life bedridden in a medical facility. That would not be pleasant, but at least it would get you to see a doctor. Every day.
In fact, I'm going to the doctor tomorrow to discuss my heart problems. They're still small problems, but I want to make sure that they stay small. I have no intention of having a heart attack if I can avoid it. I know too many people who have. Get it sorted out, or it will sort you out. No joke.
As you are feeling romantic about your immanent death, why not plan the funeral? That seems as good a project as any and will save Li-Wen some stress. It will be hard on her, after all, losing you at such a young age.
Please take a look at the following
article:
New Risk Factor For Heart Attack Patients Identified
If you go to the hospital within one to two hours of the onset of symptoms of a heart attack, your chances of getting proper treatment are nearly 70 percent greater than those who wait 11 to 12 hours before seeking treatment, according to results presented at the American Heart Association's Scientific Sessions 2007 in Orlando, Fla…
"This research should emphasize to patients that getting help immediately, by calling 911, gives them the best chance of receiving treatments we know can help save their lives or lessen the damage to their hearts," says Henry Ting, M.D., lead Mayo Clinic cardiovascular researcher on the national study. "If patients wait at home for hours with symptoms and come in later, unfortunately they aren't getting the proper treatments."
…
The American Heart Association/American Cardiology Association guidelines… state that if a patient has symptoms consistent with a heart attack which are not relieved after five minutes, or after placing one nitroglycerin pill under the tongue, the patient should call 911.
http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/87854.php
Dear Sir
I'm only half your age, and feel a bit disrespectful saying this, but you're a fool if you don't get it checked out.
If you want to die, go ahead, but if you want to live get your heart seen to, at least.
Don't let fatalism deceive you. You are responsible for your choices and you CAN alter your circumstances.
I hope you heed all the commentors' advice above.
so, what happened?
i'm 51. i was having heart symptoms. i went to a local clinic and had an EKG. that took 5 minutes with a couple of stickies on my chest. after that the doctor knew the problem was not with my heart. so what's the big deal about a 5 minute exam?
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